Like Any Other Day

It's my birthday, and since I was a kid, I have always thought of it as a normal day.

I was never too excited, nor too naive with the thought of birthdays. I just got this weird mind above anybody else about it: it's just like a day in the school, or at a job. I think, for the most part of people's lives, everyday is one's 'birthday'. It's as special and as good as any day that passes by.

Today is my birthday, and just like any other day at work, it went 'okay', as in something went horribly wrong and then after some moments of crying and crying and crying and crying over anger, it went okay in the end.

I was called by my boss to shout at me. Yes, shout at me at 6:30 in the morning over the room I am currently handling. It houses so many things that kids need, so I have to secure of all of it carefully. However, I am a newbie, and so I could be assigned as a substitute to different people who have official businesses outside the institution's premises. It is not in any law, or memo, it seems unfair, but as they say, it is a part of being a newbie. So, I let it pass. Going back, my boss shouted at me because she thought I knew the events going on inside my room. She thought that I received a letter for the use of my room as a venue, and that I gave the key to whoever. I, of course, answered her back, for that was way, way wrong in so many levels. I was deployed by her to a different sort of job, and I she fully knew that I won't be able to be in my room. No one coordinated with me as to when and how are they going to use the room. It also went with a surprise that my room was already opened and had people in it coming from nowhere. As I was narrating this to her, she just told me that I was just 'justifying' myself over what is happening; that I am responsible over a set of audio-visual materials, and that I didn't remove them before the event was held.

It made me cry. I swear it made me well up with tears of anger. My heart was pounding so hard, I cannot contain the pain anymore. It seems to me that she was trying to tell me that I was irresponsible, when in truth, I was bypassed.

My authority over the assigned and entrusted room was bypassed by my boss herself. The day before the event, they have held an afternoon meeting, and she was the one who told the coordinators to use the room. I asked the coordinators about it, and they firmly claimed that since it was her decision, the protocol is she  will be the one to inform me about it.

However, she went on mad at me, and threatening me that all the things inside the room will be hel accountable by me, so any reported loss will be paid by me.

It wasn't right. So, I asked for the help of our Counselor.

She advised me to talk to my boss and clean my name, while I listened with tears in my eyes. Then I thought, I could talk to her, but I think I shouldn't. I didn't mess up with my room. I am with its keys. Nobody talked to me about it. Never did she asked for my permission to use the room. I was bypassed. I don't have to defend myself.

It all went on throughout the afternoon. Then, it came to me that it is my birthday. So, I went on Facebook and check on updates. I wasn't expecting my dearest friends and family to post something touching about me. I thought, it wasn't really a bad day, though I am still mad over the way my boss had acted over her mistake.

You see, I cannot blame anyone over putting me down just because it is my birthday. I am glad to know that these circumstances just make me feel I am a human being, living a life not of a fairytale, but a sad and happy reality of learning, and taking each new day as it is.

Happy October 7th! :)

FORWARD LOOKIN'; LIFE'S ONGOING!

        Just as the Les Miserables actors opened their mouth to sing their show's introduction and to receive the people's welcome applause here in the Philippines, was the day I was actually came into existence. I am Sophya Ranario Eusebio, born on October 7, 1993, in Manila, Philippines. How my first name's pronounced? I usually encounter problems with that,because the spelling of my name is weird. According to William-no, not Shakespeare- Galanao Eusebio, my father, i got my name from a MYX VJ named SOPHIYA. Supposedly, my name should be spelled just like the VJ's, but due to some typographical errors, which occur usually and unexpectedly, in my birth certificate, letter 'I' was omitted. How weird the outcome of my name was, it made me face life's test as I go on.
      I've always been shy (since birth, honestly), just like when makahiya leaves tend to fold if touched; at times stubborn(take note:sometimes), same attitude of Pinang in the Legend of Pineapple; perpetually obedient with those of high authority in my life (I know I'm kinda ironic); and i'm largely interested with studying 9I admit, 'twas only in Grade 3 when I developed this personality). Three years after my formal existence, and residency in San Pedro, Laguna, my mother taught me how to read and write. I could still remember how hard she pinched me whenever I got to write a mirrored letter 'S'.
     In that same year of 1996, I was forced to join a Sagala, the kiddie version. I also celebrated my birthday in a weird way because my parents have put on the candles figured as 1 and 2 instead of just 3, for the reason of unavailability.
    Yet after all the biggest smiles and whole-hearted laughs came out of breath, something dismaying happened. This was when i completely felt like I'm at loss.
      John Kevin Ranario Eusebio, my brother, as little as he can be, decided to move and study in Manila.He's the only sibling i have back then, and so the situation saddened me the most. It was a total heart break for me, but God surely has plans, and so i have to move on with myself.
      Moving on, by the year 1998, my parents enrolled me in a nursery class in Joseph and Mary Academy, wherein the enrollment was insisted by none other than MYSELF. It all started when I've seen my friends goshing about their school projects and assignments and friends, etc. I wanted to learn something new, know what they have learned and make new friends. Isn't that exciting?
      By the year 2000, happiness flowed. My life went to normal becausethere's another human being who's meant to be a family member, coming from my mother's womb. the baby's named Lea Therese Ranario Eusebi, and yes, she's a she.  After 2 years, another one came, cute little baby that looks just like me, named Nicolas Ranario Eusebio, a bouncing baby boy. I consider them both the truest blessing God has ever given to me. they helped me cope with my rotting depression over my brother's departure.
     But just when i thought life 's been perfect for me, a total downfall came to happen, predictably. 
     After Nicolas' birth, my parents' relationship went on the rocks. Every day was like a rumble, just like the universe's gravity vanished and all the meteors and rocks from the space fell down all of a sudden. I knew right and there that the strings attached unto us should be cut down, and separation and independence will follow. Albeit the silent treatment, I knew all the things I should know as their daughter. I knew that they will bring us in Manila and live there with my father's parents; I knew that their decision is final, and I knew that the split-up was because of my father's mistress.
       All of these created a big hole in my heart. Neither sorry nor I love you from them won't be able to heal this. Even time won't make much of its concern to bring all the perfect love back. 
       Later that year my mother tried to get us, and she even brought us in Cagayan de Oro. unfortunately, her sisters won't allow us to live there. And so we have to make a come back in Manila, live here for good.
       Life isn't bad at all. I realized this when I finally welcomed light again to face reality.
       I continued my studies in Rafael Palma Elementary School, and indeed, my journey has never been thrilling. All through out my life in Manila, studying, I've achieved satisfying success.
      By the year 2003, I was in grade 4, and I was tagged as the most behaved in our class.
      In 2006, I graduated primary school, enrolled in Araullo High School, and discovered my talent in singing.  June 2006, I'm in my first year days, and at the end of the school year, i experienced to be on the Top 10 of our class. top 8, specifically.
     In 2007, Second year High School, I reached the top 2 slot, but by the end of the quarter I fell to the Top 5.
     Same things happened in the following years: 3rd year I'm still in the top 15 and 4th year I'm the Section 1's top 7. I'm a regular member of the School's Glee Club, and began to be known as the Campus' singer.
     By the year 2010, I already graduated High School, I passed the PLMAT exam, and started as a Freshman in PLM. I passed the course BSE-English.
     2011's my present year, and I've some to write my autobiography. How nice was it to look back form the past, and laugh at the problems I came to pass through.
      With all those life's medallions, I learned that every struggle is some sort of life's lesson. life's a big classroom, and classes everyday you can't ditch, because you are more than willing to learn not just with yourself. And i came to realize, I'm living what they call LIFE, and so I have to learn and grow. All worth it. :D

      

I'm Like..

        "Class, today, I want you to write something about yourselves. I want you to introduce yourselves from the very beginning, even before you were born. Then, let your new found friend introduce you in front, reading what you've just written."
        After those words came out from the mouth of my first English professor here in PLM, I wondered.... Who really am I? Am i just someone who came out of my mother's womb? Just someone who's only given life to live? Am I just someone?
        I don't know myself perfectly and exactly. But since I've lived a life that's forever with myself and of course other things around me, I learned some words that would best describe my personality. Most of the time, they are merely comparisons from one thing to another. You'll see, with the things that will follow, word per word, my personality would be based on analogy, false or not.
        I am like the moon and the stars I love, because I'm very much aware, as always that though in the midst of the darkest night, I'd still have the ones who will light my way: Moon being the Lord; stars being those He'd lend me throughout my life. guess that's how I define life.
        I am like my favorite colors, red and blue. I would describe red as fierce, because I do get mad, my heart beats with rage.. but still my mind works. Reasons. Asking questions like, 'Why?', 'Is this right?'... Then shades of blue comes, as pure as it can be, I begin to see the light. The sincerity towards my actions, the honesty inside my words.
        I am like those notebooks I truly love and dearly collected, because I'm good at listening. Notebooks can't speak, and I'm otherwise, yet i know when to shut up. that's what i love with my notebooks, because they're the ones who listened without complaining through all these years.
       I'm like the ball pens I'm fond of, because I'm a talker to. But ball pens are used only when you need to jot down you thoughts and lectures from your professors. That's how the whole of me works.
       Lastly, i'm like my new haircut. Why? It lets me be confident, and not compare myself to others. All the hair being cut, is like removing all the fears of being sophisticated. I am able to stand up with my head held high. Knowing thyself.
       And yes, I'm like... Everything else in the world.